How to Cope With Guilt & Shame During Recovery

Guild and shame are common emotions people experience throughout life, especially during addiction recovery, but what’s the difference between the two? Below, you’ll learn about the differences between the two emotions and how they affect a person’s life. As the saying goes, it’s not what happens to you that matters, it’s how you respond to what happens that makes the difference.

guilt and shame in recovery

The additional guilt or shame created by these circumstances can influence a person to continue to abuse drugs or alcohol, creating a vicious cycle. Shame can cause feelings of failure or worthlessness and lead someone to think they aren’t loveable, don’t deserve to be happy or are defective somehow. A person who experiences shame might exhibit signs of low self-esteem, perfectionism and people-pleasing. Feelings of guilt can also bring about shame since they become disappointed in themselves for their actions towards others. Shame is a feeling that reflects how we feel about ourselves, while guilt is our awareness about how our actions have affected someone else.

How to Help Someone Overcome Shame

A person may suffer from some childhood trauma and seek substances to ease the pain of guilt. Eventually, the addiction will begin to hurt their loved ones. Generally, guilt causes addiction and addiction causes shame. When people feel guilty or ashamed, they often find ways to punish themselves for their actions or thoughts about themselves. Negative thoughts can cause a downward spiral, and a person might engage in risk-taking behaviors to cope with these uncomfortable feelings.

  • Ultimately, addiction treatment can help you rediscover your self-worth and feel better than ever.
  • Learning to cope with guilt and shame can have a significant positive impact on recovery.
  • A deep sense of shame sets up the broader feeling of unworthiness, of being unworthy of love, support, or help.
  • Learning about how alcohol affects the brain helped me forgive myself.
  • And I work day in and day out with people that have had that experience, and it does turn their lives around.

Moving forward in recovery means letting go of the past and not holding onto addiction, the guilt of hurting people, or shame. This is a huge step forward in the right direction. To let go means to leave guilt and shame in recovery behind these feelings and start to think about a healthy perspective on life, free of shame and guilt for the past. To let go is to acknowledge that shame and blame have no power over your life anymore.

What is the Difference Between Guilt and Shame?

There is no foolproof way to do it, but you can start by trying the following suggestions. Shame, for example, may stop someone from signing up for an addiction recovery program because they don’t want to be embarrassed or seen entering or leaving the facility. Meanwhile, another individual might feel guilt attending an addiction recovery program since they may feel that they should be strong enough to overcome addiction by themselves. Shame can lead to self-punishment, where a person engages in self-destructive behaviors because they feel as if they deserve to be punished. Shame and guilt can also cause a low sense of self-worth, triggering uncomfortable feelings that result in a relapse.

guilt and shame in recovery

I don’t know if I’ve ever had a client come in and say ever in 40 years say, Bob, I’m here to work with you on shame. And it only led me to want to use it again to drink again. And so I realized I needed to find tools for dealing with this. If I don’t find some way to navigate this, skillfully, it’ll be the end of me, it’ll be the death of me because I knew I wasn’t gonna be able to sustain recovery.

Forgive Yourself and Others

It can be challenging to let go of shame in addiction recovery, but you don’t have to do it alone. Facilities like Clear Life Recovery can help you to overcome the stigma surrounding addiction and addiction recovery through our various support programs. While guilt https://ecosoberhouse.com/article/causes-of-alcoholism-why-are-people-alcoholics/ is typically on the surface, shame happens internally and can significantly affect how you view yourself. Guilt is feeling bad for doing something, but shame is about internalizing that guilt and believing that you are a terrible person because of what you did.

Does guilt ever go away?

Overcoming guilt is possible, even if it's been lingering for a while. Guilt is a sense of regret or responsibility for thoughts, words, or actions. It can happen when you perceive you've harmed someone, think you've made a mistake, or have gone against your personal moral code of conduct.

We also understand it can be difficult to let go of guilt and shame in recovery. Just remember, there is no guilt or shame in asking for help with substance use disorders. At Pacific Sands Recovery Center in Orange County, CA, we offer customized addiction treatment programs that include learning how to overcome your guilt and shame. To learn more about our rehab treatment programs, please feel free to visit our admissions page or give us a call to speak with an intake specialist today. Often when people feel guilt or shame, they punish themselves with self-destructive actions. It can lead to negative thinking and then a downward spiral into addiction.

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